Really exploring rest
This week marked my first full week without social media—and for the first time in a while, I started to understand just how little I’ve truly been resting.
As many of you know, I’ve been going to therapy. It’s been incredibly helpful… but it’s also been a lot of work. I’m feeling big feelings lately (low key terrifying, if I’m honest), and I’m noticing just how tired I’ve become—especially emotionally.
On Tuesday, I had a busy morning—out of the house for the first time in a while—and came home just in time to see a few virtual clients. I wasn’t feeling my best, but I’d made a commitment to show up, and I was determined to do so.
My first client had food poisoning and needed to reschedule, which opened up an unexpected window in my day. I used that time to call a friend I hadn’t caught up with in ages. I ended up sharing more about my mental health than I usually do. And in that moment, I realized how much I’d been pretending to be “fine”—even with my closest people. No wonder friendships had been feeling exhausting.
But that one conversation lifted a weight I didn’t even realize I was carrying. For the first time in a long time, it felt good to connect. To be real. It felt like its own kind of medicine.
Later that afternoon, I had a doctor’s appointment—but nothing else on the calendar. My husband was at a conference, and for once, I didn’t have that subtle hum of pressure to create content or “be productive.” Without social media, I realized my afternoon was mine. I wasn’t going to scroll. I wasn’t going to try to feel accomplished by chasing algorithms or overthinking captions. I was just going to be.
What a gift that was.
This week, I played the piano. I wandered around the garden (when it wasn’t raining). I hosted friends, went bowling, had a movie day with my husband, and read a book just because I wanted to. I also cried, processed, and had a few uncomfortable but necessary conversations—things I might’ve avoided if I was still numbing out online.
I’m still tired. I know this healing journey is long. But I also know I’m walking it with more presence, and for that, I’m grateful.
Writing more and scrolling less has been one of the greatest blessings of this summer. Now if only the sun would come out here in Wisconsin… though maybe the rain is here to remind me: rest isn’t always bright and shiny. Sometimes it’s cloudy, tender, and exactly what we need.